Tourists Ask the Dumbest Questions

Here's evidence some people just need to get out more--especially out more in nature. The following are guaranteed authentic questions tourists put to guides in Banff in the Candian Rockies. {edited}

1. How do the Elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an Elk become a Moose?
3. Are the Bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don’t they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
27. Where do you put the animals at night?
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom". Tourist: "Oh!"

via Bert